shocked myself

We left her friends home and made our way back to hers. she was going to meet her sister, Luna for something either of us knew what she wanted but it was fine, we laughed all the way there. Things where different with us, I don’t warm to people easily but her, I can just talk to. Things didn’t add up I was changing who I was for her. I didn’t know if she was playing me but I didn’t care. She had me and I wasn’t going anywhere.

She had taken my hand in the car, I had kept hold of it until I got out of the car and walked to Luna, things got strange quick and now I knew what I had done, knew I had taken Luna up on her offers because she was the closest thing to Alicia, that had changed I was close to her now.

Luna begin to talk about their mother who had died soon time before, I didn’t know when. She handed Alicia things that were once hers. I watched Alicia drop onto her stairs. My heart hurt for her and like normal I went to her side, trying to help her. They started talking about a car... at this point I had tuned out and stopped thinking about anything other than Alicia. I stood as she said she would have to travel to get it. I didn’t want to push anything so I thought leaving them to it was for the best but she wanted me to go with her. Shock hit me once again and I couldn’t understand the feelings I had when she was around.

She had taken me for dinner that night, I allowed her to. She didn’t have much control over her life. I could see it in her; I never shared that with her. She was hurt I knew that too. Part of me screamed for me to go and leave her but most of me needing to be with her, to help her. I have never been drawn to anyone. I lost everything close to and I cut myself off a long time ago, now I was allowing her access to what been lost had.