I made him mine!

After the first kiss, I wasn't about to let him get away.  I wanted him to kiss me forever.  We managed to get my mother's car to Vegas, where we met up with some friends, just taking a time out from all the craziness that seemed to be surrounding me lately.  I was excited to be away with him, not to mention, I had asked him to move into my house and he accepted.

The first night was crazy.  My head was spinning with a million thoughts and I wanted to just let loose.

Things got slightly out of hand and we ended up going home the first night and saying we would come back for the car.  Brandon went to bed and I got a call from some friends inviting me out, so I went.  I ended up at a strip club, dancing and doing some heavy drugs,trying to quiet my head and heal the pain in my heart, I had been through too much recently and I wanted to be numb from all of it.

I woke up in the morning and Brandon knew immediately what I had done, I told him I was sorry and we headed back to Vegas.  I wanted to have fun still, but looking back I think I was still just trying to hide from the things I was going through.  He was bothered by something, leaving alot, and not being as open.  I had upset him with the drugs and other foolishness. So instead of trying to talk, I blinked home and continued on my heroin binge.  I found him after, as he had drunk my blood and him and I were bonded, I was able to find him anywhere now.

I saw the disappointment on his face but being in a drug induced fog I wasn't in a frame of mind to care. Somewhere in all of the madness I told him I loved him, even asked him to marry me, what a fool I must have looked like! He called my sister to come help me while he found the rest of my drugs and got rid of them.  Luna worked hard to drain the bad blood from me and give me her own.  Brandon was never far from me while this was happening.  I had hurt him, maybe enough to lose him, I was scared, cursing myself for always ruining relationships.

I was sure I had driven him away, we got home and were taking care of getting his things settled in our house and had some issues with the movers and some broken things.  Brandon came home after replacing some of the broken stuff, found me, he seemed out of it. We were showering and I was trying to find out what was wrong, he said he had gotten into "whatever I had hidden away." He then slid down the wall of the shower.

I worked quickly to get him into a cold bath and try and wake him up.  I was sobbing, afraid he had gone and overdosed and it was my fault.

All of a sudden his eyes opened, looking at me and shivering, I climbed into the icy water, crying and telling him how badly he scared me, he came back with a sneering, "sucks don't it?" He then climbed out of the tub, leaving me to cry and tell him how bad I felt for doing that to him. I watched as his face softened, seeing my tars, he pulled me out of the tub and held me, comforting me, which was foreign and not something I was used to, and in the middle of holding me he told me that he loved me.

My jaw dropped, I thought for sure he was going to leave me and instead he was admitting to loving me, I kissed him, telling him I loved him too, and I meant it.