Before he found me...

Fate dropped Brandon into my world when I thought nothing good would ever happen to me again.  I had encountered nothing but bad luck and heartache before he came along. I was at the end of my rope, ready to throw in the towel and call it quits.

My bad luck began back when I had suffered a curse from a witch who had taken away my autonomy and turned me into a minion of hers.  Felicia came and rescued me from that life before I got too deep but it wasn't long after, that curse started to extend to the rest of my world and everyone I cared about.  

The biggest blow was the morning I realized I could no longer sense my mother through our bond.  There was silence and emptiness where she had always been since I was turned.  Things as I knew them ceased to exist that morning.  Rebel vamps had taken my mother and my sister was being attacked as well, Luna told me not to come and then she was gone as well, caught in the crossfire of a battle I should have been there to help protect them from.

I realized then that I had to stand on my own and learn who I was,no longer able to hide behind my family.  Luna had somehow been resurrected and returned from the dead.  I was shocked!  She came to claim New York City, where our mother had been Queen for so long.  I was told again that I was too young to help, only allowed to wait and render aid when Luna came back from fighting the last of this gang of vamps.  Always the baby, my heart hurt to let her fight alone but her and Felicia had decided that I was too young to participate in something so risky.  So again, I sat and obeyed while others made choices for me.

This was about the time I decided that I was going to start making my own choices, good or bad, I was making them and nobody was going to stop me.  I started fighting a lot with Felicia, standing up for myself when she tried and demand I do things as she told me to do them.  The thing with her was, I was a joke.  she would laugh at me, make fun of me, and basically put me down and keep me feeling insecure in order to maintain some sort of control over me.  I was growing tired of being her little "puppy dog," and that is when I left and had a one night stand, just to prove to her that I would.  she constantly told me how I would never be with anyone else because I knew she was the best and I would never find anyone who even compared.

That was where her and I fell apart.  She could sense everything I did, and I knew sleeping with someone else could not be kept secret from her, I did it to spite her.  When I went to pick up my things from her place after I decided I was leaving, she and I had a confrontation.  We had fought before but this time she punched me in the face.  I had enough.  I threw her off of me and told her that we would fight until one or both of us were dead but she was not to put her hands on me anymore.

That was pretty much the last time her and I were together.  I was going out more, trying to find who I was and what I wanted and take control over myself again.  This was when Brandon and I started building our friendship.  He was showing me that there are people out there who are willing to care about you without being emotionally abusive.  But the damage had been done.  I was scared, I didn't want to go through the pain of  a relationship where i was the only one feeling anything.  I had to test him.  I had to know he cared.  I was hurting, and I needed to be sure he wouldn't hurt me more.

This is why I did the drugs and fooled around with my friends.  Went out and got into trouble.  I had to be sure that he was going to stand by me no matter what.  He never made a move to hurt me.  In fact he worked harder to prove to me that he cared when I was screwing up.  It was like he knew I needed him to show me that nothing was going to push him away.  I swear he knew I was hurting.  I never told him any of this, but I swear, if he hadn't landed in my world when he did, I may not be here today.